I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
