She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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