You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Drunk is a universal language darling
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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