So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
