Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
