i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
