I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
