Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
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they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
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No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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