im gay
i know
yea but for you.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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