I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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