Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
