I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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