I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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