I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I have aggressive nipples.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
