Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
