real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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