last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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