Im at strip club and am horny
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
