I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I intend to get homeless drunk
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
She's the barista slut.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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