Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
