I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
