Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
