my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Just puked most of my soul out..
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