4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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