I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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