So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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