i was born a porn star she said
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
