respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
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mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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