Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
