Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
