Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize
