Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
