I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
she smelled like a LAN party
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
