Non-Jews are for practice
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
it glows. i had to have it.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Randomize
