my sisters under your porch take her home
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
