Betty ford says i'm here all night
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
