his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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