Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
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