I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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