too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
