i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
