I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
