Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize