Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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