he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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