escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
