I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize