Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
In other news, I just burned my penis
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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