Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Success! We fucked roommates!
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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