...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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