I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
