Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
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