What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
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It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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