I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
He did a backflip because drugs
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
