your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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