Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Come see our sink grown plant.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
