Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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