Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I will be naked everywhere
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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