garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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